Recycling and Racial Stereotypes

My father’s sister, Ruthie and her husband Tom started an empire in trash called Crown Disposal.  Legend has it they won a prize on a game show and sold it for a dump truck.  They would go out everyday and collect trash.  They eventually had a huge landfill and tons of trash trucks and we could climb around in all of it.  We would walk through the dump and try to find treasures.  Uncle Tom told us that he made a ton of money just by the trash people threw away.  They had a big huge sorting machine and it would sort the trash by type. 

This was 30 years ago and one day while I was at their house, my Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Tom started to explain to me how they took the trash they sorted and they were going to turn it into something new.  For example, the margarine container was going to be turned into a clear plastic container that could be used for soda.  How could this be?  This sounds like the most magical idea EVER.  That night, an important man was going to come over from Mexico and he was going to be taking the paper and turning it into toilet paper.  WHAT???  This was all insane!  I could not wait to meet the Mexican Magician. 

The doorbell rang and at the door stood a tall man, with blonde hair, green eyes, tan skin and a huge smile.  This was the Mexican?  Impossible!  My Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Tom welcomed him into the house and he sat next to me on the couch.  Could they not see what I saw?  There was an imposter on the couch and no one was doing anything.  I couldn’t stop staring at him.  It was so obvious and slightly awkward that he finally turned to me, looked in my 5 year old eyes and said, “Well, hello young lady.” 

“You don’t look like a Mexican.” I stated. 

My aunt and uncle giggled nervously and he said, “Oh! Well you must be wondering why I have light hair and eyes.  There are different regions in Mexico and people come in all sorts of color combinations.  Some people, like myself are decedents of the European Spaniards and they tend to have lighter skin.”  This night was blowing my mind. 

Racial stereotypes were crashing down all around me and I didn’t know what to do.  On the one hand, it was exciting to learn more about different cultures, but on the other hand, racial stereotypes felt safe.  If I could look at someone and identify them with something I understood, then I felt like I knew something about them and that was comforting.  But now, everything was different.  I didn’t really know anything about anyone.  

I knew that my blatant staring through dinner was inappropriate, but he was so kind and so patient.  My aunt and uncle let me go through my process as they could see this was a big moment for me.  I felt so much older and wiser after dinner.  I felt like I knew something that other people my age didn’t know.  No matter what you looked like, you could be anything. 

Although he will never know it, the Mexican Magician was kind of a hero for me.  He not only obliterated my racial stereotypes, but he also made old newspaper into fresh soft white toilet paper. 

Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Tom now own Community Recycling, as well as two sister companies that turn trash into usable energy.  They are not only my entrepreneurial inspiration but also total environmental magicians.

Riddles and Progress

I had a moment of realization the other day in a dimly lit Mexican restaurant in the Valley.  Justin, Annabella and I were waiting for our lunch and Annabella was telling us jokes.  “What do you call a deer with no eyes?”

“What?”

“No I deer!”

We were laughing and Justin asked her if she liked riddles.  She said that she was not sure but it sounded like something she would like.  He said, “Let me give you an example.  This father is out with his son when he becomes extremely hurt and has to go to the hospital for immediate medical attention.  At the hospital, the doctor yells, ‘I can’t help that man, that man is my son!’  Who is the doctor?”

Without skipping a beat she says, “The mom.  So, what’s a riddle?  A question?”

We realized that while maybe even 10 years ago that might have been considered a riddle, now little girls see women in all kinds of roles.  Annabella’s pediatrician is a woman as is her dentist and her soon to be orthodontist.  Many of the women in my life are writers, artists, composers, directors, executive producers, CFOs, A&R executives, etc.  I have always worked in male dominated fields, so for her there is proof that there is nothing she can‘t do.  It isn’t even a thought to her that there is a job that a woman would not be good for.  She doesn’t realize that only 50 years ago, women applying to Harvard Law School would have to justify to the dean why they should have a place meant for a man. 

I began to think about this and was so encouraged and excited by the possibility that our children will have every avenue open to them, they see women in powerful positions working alongside men all the time.  That no gender is “better” and that it really should be the best person for the job.  In their early years, they are growing up with Obama as our President and Hilary as our Secretary of State. 

As parents in this exciting time we have some fantastic opportunities, but we also have different challenges.  But we won’t get into that today.  After all, we are just starting!  In this blog I want to explore those challenges, the day to day reality, as well as appreciate the women and men before us who have brought us to this amazing place.  With any luck this blog will be somewhat intellectual and possibly entertaining.   Annabella likes it but thinks the monthly blogs on iCarly are “just slightly better” so at least I have something to aspire to. 

Now, what do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?  Still no I deer!

With Love From The Valley/Kelly